I want friends. Even more (and much more importantly), I want to be a good friend. Whatever I have been has been not good enough, and other people deserve better from me. What hurts the most is that I have been incapable of being there (consistently) enough to keep up appropriate maintenance. Wait... scratch that. What hurts the most is watching others having what I cannot have because they can put in the work that (most of time, due to timing) I simply cannot put in.
